To Die With A Soul
by Morwen Esteliel
Summary: End of BTVS S2 Buffy and Angel have their thoughts on the events
1. 1

Title: To Die With A Soul

Author: Morwen Esteliel

Summary: End of Season 2 Buffy and Angel reflect as events unfold

Disc: not mine

Buffy raised the sword to the fallen vampire, ready to kill him.

She paused, sword above her head as she saw Angel's eyes glow briefly.

The vampire gasped and fell forward, his nominal breath laboured.

There was something different about him; somehow she knew his soul had been restored.

Slowly the slayer began to lower the sword but kept on her guard in case it was some sort of trick.

Angel sniffed and wiped his eyes and looked up to the person before him.

"Buffy? What's going on?" he whispered, confusion painted his face.

The slayer lowered the sword a little more, eyeing him carefully as he slowly stood up.

"Where are we? I don't remember," his tone was low and confused as he tried to figure out what had happened, but his mind was blank.

Buffy let the sword slowly fall to the side, "Angel?" she whispered, uncertainty in her voice, not wanting to believe it was really him, it would make it harder to...she could not even think of it at the moment.

Angel turned his attention to a trickle of blood flowing down her arm. "You're hurt," he stated, pulling her into a tight, loving embrace.

"oh Buffy, god, I feel like I haven't seen you in months," he told her wrapping his arms around her tightly, not wanting to let go, "everything's so muddled I..." he broke off as she rested her head on his shoulder, he pulled her closer if it was possible, inhaling her scent, enjoying the feeling of holding her in his arms again. "Oh Buffy," he whispered placing a kiss on her shoulder.

Buffy closed her eyes tight as tears began to escape; she clung to the vampire tightly, knowing these moments they had together would be their last.

The slayer's attention turned to Acathla, who's, mouth opened and a vortex appeared. Her eyes widened as she realised she had to do it before it was too late.

Angel pulled away, noticing her grip had loosened; he searched her eyes, trying to get some understanding, "what's happening?" he asked, hearing a low rumble.

"Shhhh," she replied, a hand caressing his cheek, "don't worry about it," she whispered, and kissed him deep and lovingly, not wanting to face what she had to do, the vortex was getting bigger.

She pulled away from the kiss, knowing she could not put it off any longer.

"I love you," she whispered, more tears welling in her eyes.

"I love you," he replied still searching her eyes.

"Close your eyes," she instructed, her voice wavering.

Angel did as she instructed, and felt her lips on his again.

She pulled away, seeing his eyes closed, she memorised the complacent look on his face, so she would have it to treasure for the rest of her life.

Without thinking she thrust the sword into him.

Angel's eyes flew open at the pain; surprise covered his face, as he extended his arm to his lover. Confusion soon took over as Buffy just stood there, doing nothing.

"Buffy?" he whispered, then there was only blinding pain.

Buffy watched with a saddened tearful expression on her face as power from the vortex wrapped itself around him, and then he vanished.

The slayer choked on the lump in her throat and let the tears fall as the realisation hit her of what she had just done.

She had known there was no other way to save the world, but now she would never get her Angel back. She had killed her lover and her heart, but she knew she would never forget him.


	2. 2

Angel P.O.V

Why do I feel so…confused?

What is this place?

I am not alone.

"Buffy?" I could recognise her scent even if there were several dimensions between us…I can feel her burning as bright as my soul. "What's going on?" I don't understand; Why does she hold her sword as if to kill me…I shakily stand…why do I feel like this? Why Does Buffy look as if she is about to cry?

She watches me warily…as if I would harm her, does she know that would be impossible? I could never hurt her.

"Where are we?" I do not recognise this place, why am I here? Why is she here?

I try to remember, but my mind is blank, "I don't remember," why does she watch me uncertainly?

"Angel?" Her voice is shaky, making the tears in her eyes glisten brighter in the light.

"You're hurt," I notice her arm is cut, how did it happen? What is going on?

I can resist no longer, I need to hold her again but as I pull her close, she is still hesitant, what have I done to make you feel so?

"Oh Buffy, god, I feel like I haven't seen you in months…everything's so muddled…I…" it is good to hold her, I will never let her go again, I promise.

"Buffy," it feels like a lifetime since we were together, how long has it been? I don't care, we are together now. Why is she crying is it something I have done?

Have I said something…her birthday…I remember…the happiness…the street…oh god…it's coming back to me…the pain…what I said to her…I never meant to hurt her…he did…but not me…never me…I couldn't stop my actions, I wasn't in control of my body or mind…

I can hear a low rumbling from behind. "What's happening?" the past day I still can't remember.

Her hand comes to my face. "Shhhh, don't worry about it," she kisses me, I have longed for her kiss for the longest time…the rumbling is getting louder she pulls away.

"I love you," she tells me. I already know that; there's something she's not telling me though, I can see it in her eyes…

"I love you," I reply, meaning every word, what is wrong? What isn't she telling me?

"Close your eyes," she instructs, her voice is wavering. she kisses me again…she quickly pulls away.

Oh god.

I feel a sharp pain; her sword is in me

Why? What have I done?

Blinding pain shoots through me.

"Buffy?" what's happening? Why did she do this?

Buffy…


	3. 3

Buffy P.O.V

This ends now.

I hoped Willow would have been able to restore Angel's soul, but it wan not meant to be. Now I must kill him to save the world…again.

Get up vamp, fight back, I'm gonna kill him anyway…but I don't want to remember that I killed you pathetically on your knees…

Something is different about him…what is he doing?

"Buffy?" yeah, it's me, the one he have been trying to kill for the past few months, '"what's going on?"

Wait…

He seems different; less…what's the word? Oh yeah, evil…what is he playing at?

What's with the slow confusion? Is he trying to do this deliberately? Trying to throw me off so he can kill me? Please, don't make this harder for me than it already is.

"Where are we?" he asks, I can see the confusion written on his face. Is he genuine? "I don't remember…"

No, it can't be, not now, oh god Willow, why be successful now? "Angel?" in my heart I know it is him, oh god, before, I could kill him easily, but now…I'm not so sure…

"You're injured," really? I notice the cut for the first time.

It feels so good to be in his arms again, I never realised how much I missed it, missed him…

"I feel like I haven't seen you in months…Buffy…" oh god it is good to hear him say my name without it sounding like a threat, I can hold back the tears no longer, I cry freely into his shoulder. I don't want to let my Angel go, but I know I must, it is the only way to stop Acathla, he came back to me too late.

Acathla has woken, the vortex has appeared, I cannot wait much longer.

"What's happening?" the confusion in his eyes.

"Shh. Don't worry about it," I cannot bare to tell him that you are the cause of the world's destruction. My hand comes to his face, enjoying the soft feeling of his cold skin underneath mine, not wanting to forget these times we had together, I seal the memories with a long, loving kiss, how I have missed the feel of his lips on mine, I have missed him so much.

The vortex is getting bigger, I know I can put it off no longer.

"I love you," I always have, I always will, my Angel.

"I love you," he replies, I know he does, I never doubted it, not even when he tried to kill me, I know Angel…my Angel loved me.

"Close your eyes," my voice is failing; I kiss him again, knowing it is the last time I will ever have the chance to do so.

I pull away, he look so peaceful, I don't think I can do it now…

No…I can't think…I just have to…

My hands thrust the sword in him before I have a chance to hesitate.

he holds out his arm, I want more than anything to pull him out of the vortex…to save him, but I know I cannot.

"Buffy?" hearing the confusion in his voice breaks my heart, he does not remember what he did.

He disappears.

It's over.

Oh god, what have I done? Angel I'm so sorry, I had no choice. I love you…I can take no more, the hurt, the pain…I have to go…I can't stay…I love you…

My Angel.

My Love.

My Heart.


End file.
